Drawn to Darkness Through The Light
by cdknelson
Summary: It has been weeks since she has last seen Kylo Ren, kneeling in the base command center on Crait. Rey has begun her training on the jungle moon of Ajan Kloss when she begins receiving visits from him. What is a girl to do when she is connected by the force to a man who she cares about and hates at the same time? Can she find Ben Solo inside him or will Kylo Ren prevail?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Rey sighed. The great forest around her breathed with life. She could feel every living things as they moved, grew, struggled, was born, and died. She sat in the crook of a tall tree so she could get a better look at the sky.

"So much life in one place…. It still amazes me," she thought as she hugged her knees to her chest. This forest reminded her of Takodana, where Han and Chewie had taken her, BB-8, and Finn to meet up with the Resistance. A beginning to the journey that had brought her here. That was where she met Kylo Ren….

"Ben," she reminded herself. She sighed.

She was supposed to be training, learning the ways of the Force. Leia had sent her out into the forest to train, but all she wanted to do was sit and breath in the life around her. And to think about her last encounter with Ben aboard Snoke's Star Destroyer.

_"It is time to let old things die. Snoke. Skywalker. The Sith. The Jedi. The Rebels. Let it all die. Rey," Ben paused and reached towards her. "I want you to join me. We can rule together." His voice was pleading and sincere. "We can bring a new order to the galaxy."_

_Rey couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Don't do this Ben… Please don't go this way…" Rey remembered pleading with him._

_Ben became frustrated. "No, NO you are still holding ON! Let go!"_

Let go of the past. Rey couldn't do that. All the good people who had struggled and died… Han Solo… Luke Skywalker… and so many countless others. She just couldn't do that.

Rey started climbing down from her perch. Ben had gone from angry to tender.

_"You're not nothing to me," he had said in that husky deep voice of his. "Join me." And he reached out his gloved hand. _

_Rey was so tempted to take it as tears fell down her cheeks._

_"Please…" he whispered. He begged. Her heart was torn so much. "Oh Ben…," she had thought._

Her friends were in danger and she made the right choice. She began walking back toward the new base. Well what was becoming the new base. Currently it is an old palace that had fallen into disrepair during the battle with the Empire so long ago. Leia and a small team of Rebels were here to begin converting it to a fully functional base while others were gathering more people from the surrounding systems.

She heard movement behind her. "Thinking of me again? He said with that husky voice.

"Ben. Well it appears that link Snoke created still works," she sighed as she turned to see Ben standing behind her. It had been a few weeks since Rey and Chewie had rescued the little remaining Resistance from that crystal mining planet. She remembered the look of sadness she had seen on his face as she closed the link between them.

"Letting your guard down…. Probably not the wisest thing while training." He studied her. "That is what you are doing?"

"Why do you care?" Rey said in a huff. She studied him. The scar on his face was beginning to fade. _The scar I gave him._ His hazel eyes looked sad and tired and like he hadn't slept well for a few weeks. He wore his black tunic, pants, belt, and boots. No mask still.

"Just wondering," he said dismissively. "So where are you Rey? I just want to have a nice reunion and just end this war." He gave her a curious look. "Offer still stands: Join me," he said softly.

The pull of his gentle voice caught her off guard. She shook her head. "I don't have time for this."

She began walking again. She could hear him following her. "Ben, let me be."

"Stop calling me that," he said annoyed.

She turned to face him again. "That is your name. Goodbye Ben." And she severed their link.

Rey sighed. She looked back at the spot where he was. Sadness filled her. Why did she already miss his voice, his presence? "No… that is a dangerous game," she thought.

She broke through the tree line into the clearing just before the base living quarters. People were making repairs to the unlived areas of the structure to fit the new incoming resistance fighters on their way. She smiled as she saw a familiar face amongst the group.

"Finn!" she shouted and waved. Finn turned and saw her. The biggest smile spread across his face.

'Rey! Good to see you back finally!" he said as he rushed over to her. "You know boxes are not going to unload themselves!" he laughed.

"I know, I know." She grinned. It was so good to see him again. With Poe gone on some mission for Leia, Finn was her constant companion on the base while she was not training. "Poe back yet?"

"No not yet. Hoping it will be soon. Renovations are almost done and the new people have started arriving.," he said as they walked toward the mess hall. "How's training?"

She paused to think. _How much should I say? Should I mention Ben? "_Good," she said as she grabbed some rations to eat. They sat at a nearby table.

"That's it? Good? No big breakthroughs?" he said aghast. Rey shook her head.

"Just trying to feel one with the force," she said as she gave him an amused smile. "You knew that my training would take a long time," she said she nudged him with her shoulder.

He smiled at her. "Yeah but you are Rey! The great Jedi!" He chuckled.

She gave him a dirty look and he put up his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay!" he laughed.

"How's Rose?" Rey asked.

"Great! She is pretty much recovered and the General asked her to be a part of her command team!" he proudly said.

"Good then I expect to see more of her soon!" Rey smiled then she sighed. "Well time to do more studying those Jedi books." She stood up.

"See ya Rey! I'll let you know if I hear anything about Poe." She gave Finn a grateful smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Rey walked towards her quarters. Most of time she liked to read outside but today she was not in the mood. Seeing Ben again today…. Well she needed some privacy.

Why does he put her in this mood? Rey was so frustrated. She sat down on an old couch in her room and drew her legs up in order to prop the book on them. Not an interesting read… just the formation of the first Jedi temple. She sighed and her thoughts strayed to Ben again.

"What are you reading?'

Her heart jumped. That husky deep voice she had longed to hear again. She looked up toward the sound of his voice.

There he sat on a stool. No shirt, hair matted with sweat. Just his pants and boots. He held a staff in his strong hands. He was looking intently at her.

_For the love of… "_Put on a shirt!" Rey gasped.

Ben chuckled. _He laughs? _Rey thought.

"You are the one doing this… after these long few weeks you contact me twice in one day?" He had a halfcocked grin on him. _He smiles?_ He stood up and put the staff down. The staff and the stool disappeared from her view. She could only see him. He walked toward her.

"So… what are you reading?" he asked again crossing his arms over his well-defined, bare chest.

He was towering over her. A flutter in her stomach. She closed the book and put it down. "Nothing."

He looked at her thoughtfully and crouched down next to her. Another flutter. His black hair blocked some of his face. Rey had an urge to push his hair behind his ear so she could see his face better. To see his eyes better. He studied her for some time. Time seemed to stop between them. All she could hear was their breathing. _Was she breathing? _Another flutter. She could feel something radiating from him. Curiosity? Longing? Frustration? She couldn't put a word to it. Or was that from her? Another flutter.

He stood up abruptly and look down at her again. "Well, when you are ready to share, you can contact me again." He said annoyed. And the connection stopped.

Rey was annoyed. She ran her hand through her loose hair. Why was she so annoyed? Well she wasn't going to get any reading done today so she might as well go help with the unloading of supplies. So Rey headed to the docking area to see what she could do.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

It was far into the evening after all the supplies had been unloaded and distributed. Finn and Rose had bumped into her near the command center and had told her that there had been no word from Poe. She thanked them and headed to the mess hall to grab some dinner to take back to her quarters.

As she approached her quarters, her annoyance returned. How dare Ben break that connection! Now she didn't even feel like eating, Maybe after a bath and clean clothes she would feel better. She sighed and heading into the bathroom.

The shower was quick and refreshing. The tinge of guilt hit her as she bathed. _So much water. I didn't have this luxury on Jakku. _ Times were so different then. Before BB-8… before Finn… before the Resistance.

The clean clothes felt nice on her skin. Leia had given her these sleep clothes – beige silk wide legged pants and a matching silk crop top. Old clothes from another era but they were soft and comfortable. She brushed her warm, shoulder length, brown hair. She decided she would leave it down tonight. She sighed. She needed to relax if she wanted to go to sleep. She lounged on her bed and flipped through pages in the book that she had left in her quarters earlier. Who was she kidding? She was in no mood to read history right now.

She sighed. She thought of Ben hoping that their connection would open again. Nothing.

She dimmed the lights in her quarters. Maybe sleep will be easier tonight. Since Master Luke had joined the Force and the battle with Snoke, Rey had a hard time sleeping.

She tossed and turned. No sleep would come tonight. She beat the mattress on both side of her body.

"Watch it," he yawned. Rey leapt out of her bed and turned to see Ben Solo in her bed! He wore a long black silky robe and nothing more that she could see.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed trying to hide her sleep clothes from him.

"Trying to sleep not that you are helping," he quietly mused. His black hair looked clean and his face was tired. "Sleep evading you too?"

"Yes," she quietly said. He looked her up and down.

"That's my mother's sleep clothes… she would give that to you." he harrumphed. He gave her an appreciatory look. "It looks appealing on you."

"I didn't wear it for you!" Rey hissed.

"Now, now, come sit back down." He sighed. "Maybe if we talk civilly, maybe we can find that the sleep we have been longing to find will come."

Rey considered his offer. Sleep did sound nice. She sat back down on the bed and he sat up.

"Well what should we talk about? And no I will not tell you where I am." Rey gave him a dirty look.

"Read any good books lately?" he asked slyly. He received another dirty look from her. "Look I am not good at talking, just giving orders."

She sighed. "Tell me about your childhood." She was curious.

He shut down. "Off limits." He studied her. "Did you like being a scavenger?"

She looked at him. No one had asked her that before. "It was a hard life. But I learned a lot about spacecraft and languages and how to deal with different people. But I don't know if I liked it… it was just the way life was." She watched for his reaction. His face was neutral. "My turn: tell me about your parents Han and Leia."

He scowled at her. "Boring." _Well he was not being helpful. Different tact._

"I see you are wearing your signature color again… own anything in another color maybe?" she mused.

He studied her. Another halfcocked smile appeared. _Who did that remind me of?_ "Maybe…" he teased. "Would you like to see?" He began to untie his robe.

"Stop!" Rey said in a panic and she thrust her hand toward his to stop him. She was surprised when she touched his hand. It was warm. Her pulse raced. She looked at his face – he was just as astonished. She dropped his hand into her lap and just looked at him.

"Well this got more interesting," he said quietly. "Good night Rey." And he cut off the connection.

Rey laid down and try to find sleep but her mind was racing. How did that happen? Does he now know where we are? How could she touch him and not have a vision like last time? She could actually feel his hand – his pulse, his warmth. So many questions and no answers.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Rey continued her training the next day. Leia sent her into the forest on a new obstacle course. She had to capture several flags and get past obstacles such as downed trees and training droids. She had to concentrate on the objects around her. Some were easy to her; some were more challenging. But concentrating was an issue now. She kept thinking about that touch. How? She consulted the Jedi texts, looking for answers. Looking for some information on this bond Ben and she had. Nothing that she could find. Days turned into weeks and her training continued. No sign of the First Order. New recruits were arriving daily and the base was full of energy. But still no Poe. The rest of her time during the day were filled with base business and spending time with Rose and Finn. They were a great distraction from her questions being unanswered.

Leia could sense something was troubling her but Rey deflected the questions. She just wasn't ready to talk about it to Leia. Especially about Ben. Her stomach fluttered at the thought of his smile. His laugh. The warmth of his hand. She felt that was just for her. She sighed. _Or maybe it was a game that he was playing with me._

She had retired to her quarters and the base was a distant sound to her. Her quarters were a quiet and reflective space. She was meditating in her sleep clothes, trying to ease her mind so that she could finally get a restful sleep without nightmares. Her training routine had led to her finally sleeping, but the visions in her dreams were troubling her. Were they the future? The past? More questions left unanswered.

Tonight, she had put her hair in a loose braid. The silk of her clothes next to her skin was soothing. She opened her eyes. No more meditating tonight. She walked to the side of her bed and sat down. She groaned and put her face in her hands.

"Let's try this again," she moaned as she put her hands in her lap. As she looked up, she saw him staring at her. "Ben," she whispered.

There he was in his long black robe again. His hair was mussed like he had been sleeping. He looked upset.

"You've been blocking me….," he quietly spoke in his deep voice. There was danger in his voice.

She stared at him. Had she? "Oh," was all she said.

He began pacing the room, his robe swishing as he walked, bare feet slapping against unseen tile. He stopped and turned to her. "If I was a different man, I might have been angered." The air sizzled around him.

"Well, I have been busy," Rey said through gritted teeth. He looked at her and the sizzling faded.

Ben sighed and came to sit next to Rey on the bed. "Have you been sleeping?"

She looked at him. He looked worn and tired. "Yes and no. Sleeping but not well." She paused. "You?"

"No," he said with a grunt.

She wanted to reach out and touch his hand, but she hesitated. She began to tremble. He was so lost and tired. He gazed at her with a questioning look. Could he feel what she was feeling? She reached for his hand and warmth that it provided. He looked at their interlocking hands and back at her face.

"Are you afraid of me?" he asked quietly.

Was she? "No Ben. This side of you in just new." That flutter in her stomach was back She turned toward him, crossing her legs on her bed. "Put your head in my lap." There she felt that - confusion, desire. She was feeling his emotions. "No, you Nerf-herder. Not that way! Lay back… I am going to massage your temples."

Recognition and distrust flashed across his face, but he gently turned and laid his head in her lap. She began to massage his temples in a circle while pushing a small amount of the Force – peace and tranquility. He sighed while he closed his eyes. "Stop." He grabbed her hands and held them as he continued to lay there. "No using the Force."

She snatched her hands away and dumped him over on the bed as she stood up. "I am trying to help you!"

He looked annoyed then amused. "I said no Force. You can continue to massage. That felt nice." He patted the bed.

It was Rey's turn to pace. The rug under her feet was soft and kept the coolness of the stone underneath from stealing the warmth from her. She looked back at him. He was waiting. She wanted to touch him again. "Fine," she grunted.

She sat further on the bed so that he had more room to lay back. He waited until she was settled then he laid back down. He looked up at her as her braid fell forward over her shoulder. "No Force," he said firmly.

"Fine," she grunted again. She began the circles on his temple again. He closed his eyes and hummed. She could feel his enjoyment and the heat began to rise in her face.

His eyes snapped open. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said quietly.

He looked at her thoughtfully. "Turn around. My turn."

Her mouth went dry. "Excuse me?"

"My turn to massage you." Rey continued to look at him. "It is only fitting to return the favor," he said with that smile.

Rey turned and began the put her head in his lap. "No, sit up. I will do your shoulders. They look very tense."

Rey was grateful. He pulled her closer to him so that he could reach her better. He began to knead the knots in her shoulders, neck, and back.

"Why have you not been sleeping well Rey?" he inquired as his hands moved up her back once more.

_Words… there are words for that._ "I have been having nightmares or something like that. Darkness. Flashes of light. Death. Destruction." She paused. _Evil that was trying to draw her to it. I can't tell him that._

He hummed.

She could feel the warmth of his hands through her silk top. Tingles shot up and down her spine as he touched her bare skin on her neck. His strong hands. Her mind began to wonder what else his hands could do to her.

He stopped moving and tensed. He cleared his throat. "I think we better lay down and get some sleep if we can."

She turned to look at him. "Will you stay as long as you can?" He looked very confused. "You know, just until I fall asleep – you there and me here."

"Yes Rey. I can stay until then," he whispered.

She laid down on top of the sheet and he laid next to her. She looked at him. So much space between them. She reached out, took his hand, and closed her eyes. "Good night Ben."

He was barely breathing. "Good night Rey," he breathed quietly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Rey awoke the next morning with the light filtering in through her shutters. She glanced over to where Ben had been – not there. She had slept through the night. No visions or nightmares. She wondered if Ben had a good sleep. She sat up on the side of the bed. Another day of training ahead. She quickly got dressed in leggings, tunic, boots and belt.

She ran to the mess hall to grab a ration when she ran into Finn.

"Rey!" he was so excited. "Poe is back! Just landed this morning!" His smile was contagious.

Rey beamed. "Where is he? Where's BB-8?"

"Poe is giving his report to the General. BB-8 is probably with him! Come on!" They rushed toward to command center.

Rey's heart raced. She couldn't wait to see Poe… to hear about his mission and what he found out. They reached to center as Poe and BB-8 exited followed by Leia.

Poe's face lit up at the sight of them and BB-8's excited chirps greeted them. Rey kneeled down in front of the little droid and checked his antenna. "Poe been taking care of you?" BB-8 made a series of chirps and moans. Rey looked at Poe. "You did what?"

Leia smiled in amusement. Poe looked hurt. "Hey that was for his own good! I couldn't have him sneaking off and getting shot!"

BB-8 chirped again. Rey gave Poe an annoyed look. Poe look at BB. "Traitor…" He put his hands on his hips. "And I suppose that you have gotten a lot done while I 've been gone."

Rey gave him a dirty look. "Exactly," Poe said as he turned to Finn and clapped him on the shoulder. "Hey Buddy! Good to see you!"

Leia cleared her throat. "As much as I love seeing this, work around here needs to be done. Poe," she turned to him, "thank you for the report. Get cleaned up and report to your station. Finn, another ship is on it's way in. Please make sure people are sent to their new stations." Leia looked at Rey. "Time for your next training lesson." Rey nodded.

Poe touched Rey on her shoulder. "Good to see you Rey. Race ya later." He smiled and left to go to his quarters. "Come on BB-8. Time to get you cleaned up too." BB-8 rolled happily after him.

"Bye Finn," Rey smiled to him. "See you after training?"

"Always," Finn replied as he walked toward the docks.

Leia smiled as she gently took Rey's arm. "Friendship… the strongest bond in time of peace and war. Hold those bonds dear Rey. They will get you through the hardest parts."

Rey held her breath. _And Ben?_ "And family?"

Leia sighed. "Family is hard. But it does not define us. Yours… mine… We make the mark in this world by the choices we make… the good and bad." Leia stopped and turned to Rey. She studied her face. "Ben made his choices – the good and bad. Just as I made my choice to build a strong New Republic instead of being there for Ben. Han made his choice to go off and go back to smuggling instead of being there for both of us." She sighed. "Those choices don't stop once a decision is made. I was too late for Ben then but there still may be hope for him. I believe it in my core." Leia began to walk again and Rey fell into step with her. "Now off to your training. I think some meditation with the Force is in order."

Rey nodded and heading off to a small clearing in the forest as Leia watched her go.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Later on that evening, Rey met up with Finn, Rose and Poe at the mess hall. Poe was retelling a particular thrilling tale when Rey felt a nudge… a pull in the Force.

"Rey… are you all right?" Finn whispered to her. Rey heard Rose laugh out loud at Poe's story as Rey looked at Finn.

"Yeah, yeah… just more tired than I thought…" She stared at his concerned face. "I better go to bed…. See you tomorrow?"

"Always," Finn whispered gently as he touched her hand.

Rey smiled with gratitude and rose from her seat.

"Wait, wait, wait! You can't go now! I was getting to the best part!" Poe said disappointedly.

Rey giggled. "Then I guess I will have to hear it later, Flyboy!"

Poe laughed hardily and pulled her into a hug. "Night Rey."

Rey gave him a good squeeze. A pull from the Force again. Rey looked around embarrassed and confused. She looked at Finn's concerned face and Rose smiling at her. "Night you two."

"Night Rey!" said Rose with a wave.

Rey turned to walk out of the hall, passing Leia. Leia watched her exit with a strange look.

The pull again. Toward her quarters. She walked quickly to the entrance and entered.

"Do you enjoy being touched by that filthy traitor?" She turned to see Ben breathing hard, looking very hurt and angry. He was wearing his tunic, pants, and boots.

"What are you talking about?" Then it dawned on her. "Were you watching me?"

Ben looked only slightly guilty. "Yes."

Rey was flabbergasted.

"And that pilot… you enjoyed that hug too much. I felt it." Ben was angry.

"No… no… no… you have no right to spy on me and tell what I can do or not." Rey was getting angry now. "They are my friends." Now she understood what was going on. "You were pulling me here." She crossed her arms. "Well I am here…. What do you want?"

Ben was radiating anger and power. Rey waited. A tone at her door. She relaxed and turned to open the door. She felt the link with Ben sever. The door opened. It was Leia.

"Rey, are you all right?" Leia's eyes were searching Rey's. "I felt something I couldn't explain surrounding you."

Rey smiled. "Yes, I am just tired."

Leia looked at her knowingly. _She knows I am hiding something from her._ "All right. Good night Rey." She turned to leave and the door closed.

Rey reactivated the connection. She turned abruptly to him. "Are you trying to get caught?" she snarled.

Ben's anger had subsided a bit. "No. No one alive knows."

"You don't think she knows?" Rey scoffed at him. "Don't you think Luke told her?" Rey sat down on her couch and ran her fingers through her hair. She felt him near her. He was sitting with her. His anger was gone. He reached out his hand and touched hers. Frustrated tears filled her eyes. "I don't want to lose this, Ben."

His breath caught. "Okay," was all he said.

She wiped the tears from her cheek and leaned into his chest. The quilted padding on his tunic made it soft but she could still feel his firm chest under it. He hesitated but then put his arms around her. She could feel his pulse quicken and his mind racing. Or was that hers? The warmth of his body gave her comfort. He held her tighter. His black hair touched her cheek with each of his breaths, sending tingles through her body. She looked up at him. He looked down at her. She could feel his breath on her face. His haunting eyes. She reached out and touched his scar on his face. He flinched at her touch. His breath quickened. His eyes looked at her searchingly. She touched his full lips with her thumb. _Those wonderful full lips._ He grabbed her hand from his face and started massaging her palm.

"You're trembling," he said softly as he continued to massage her hand.

"No I am not," she whispered defiantly, but she knew that she was.

He moved closer to her face. His lips were so close. He hesitated. She lunged at him and caught those lips with hers. Warmth spread through her body. He pulled her closer, making the kiss deeper and fuller. She felt complete, connected, and filled in his arms. She put her hand in his soft, black hair to pull him closer. His strong hands moved down her back to her bottom and pulled her into his lap. So many emotions – confusion, joy, and desire - from him… from her.

She pushed against his chest to pull out of the kiss. She tried to catch her breath. He looked down at her, breathing hard. She saw a softness in his eyes. _There's Ben… no Kylo at all…._

He pulled her into another kiss… deeper… she moaned into his lips. She felt his desire grow. His hands became more aggressive, trying to pull her closer.

He broke off their kiss to trail kisses down her neck and back up again. She could hardly breathe. Panting, they looked at each other. The moment seemed to last forever. She wanted more and she knew he did too.

"I've got to go….," he said quietly. He gently put her on the couch. And before she could say a word he was gone. And Rey was stunned and speechless and alone.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Rey locked herself away in her room claiming to be unwell for days. Time and time again, Rey tried to connect with Ben but to no avail. She felt like a part of herself was torn away. She curled even more under her sheets. A tone at the door sounded.

Rey grabbed her robe and answered the door. It was Finn.

"Is this a bad time?" Finn asked.

Rey gave a faint smile. "No, come in."

Finn entered the room. "Look I know you are not feeling well but I want to keep you on the up and up about things going on." He was looking urgently at her. "Kylo Ren has uped the long-range sensors looking for us. In-bound troops are getting hit by tie fighter and star destroyer attacks in route, some of them not even making it here. Rey, you need to feel better so we can get you out there with us, looking for a way to stop the First Order and especially Kylo Ren." Rey cringed at hearing his name.

Finn sat down on Rey's couch. "Also, another strange thing is going on. The General is being all hush on it, but Rose says it is big. Old messages from the Empire are being broadcast out. We don't know who it is and no one in command is talking about what are in the messages. Poe is climbing the walls with all this secrecy." He looked to her as she sat down next to him.

"I think the General is going to send us on a mission soon because Poe has been pulling star charts out and gathering intel on some old impound or something but who knows when we will leave. Maybe never." Rey placed her hand over Finn's. "I just want to feel like I am really making a difference, you know?"

Rey smiled. "Of course you do. And you are making a difference here. This base is in shape and working well because of your help." Finn gave her a faint smile.

"Oh," Finn said as pulled out a small pouch. "I brought you some rations to make sure you were eating."

"See, you do make a difference… for me. Thank you…," Rey said kindly.

"Well, I guess I better let you rest." Finn slapped his thighs and stood up. "Do you need any new books or anything?"

Rey gave him a hug. "No, Leia brought me another book when she came by earlier."

Finn started to leave.

"Oh, and tell Poe," Rey said with a smile," No flying the falcon without me."

Finn chuckled. "You got it." He paused. "See ya Rey." And he left out the door leaving Rey alone again.

Rey opened the pouch and began to eat as she pulled one of the books in her lap. Ancient Sith lore and legends. She was currently reading a tale of Darth Plagueis and his attempts to cheat death. She closed the book and went to lay in the bed again. Her silk bed clothes swished as she walked. She thought about the news Finn had delivered. So that was what Ben had been doing lately. Increasing the search for the Resistance. Being the Supreme Leader Kylo Ren as likes to call himself.

"Avoiding me," she groaned. _I have to stop torturing myself. Get back to work. Back to my training._

It just hurt so much. She rolled over and pulled the sheets over her head. _Ben…. Where are you?_

She drifted off to sleep again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Rey woke with the feeling of her hair being touched. She pushed out with the force and the intruder made a noise of surprise but moved just a little across the floor. She jumped out of bed. Her lightsaber jumped to her hands and the blue light hummed into life. Adrenaline pulsed through her as she looked around.

"I didn't know lightsabers were required for this visit," a familiar deep voice spoke.

The blue light retracted as relief filled her. "Ben?"

He stepped closer to her. Relief filled her as she pulled him into a hug. "Don't do that to me again! Where have you been?" Rey scolded him.

"Busy…" he said dismissively.

"Yes, I heard," she said as she pulled away from him. He looked at her inquiringly. "Attacking resistance ships, disrupting our supplies… ring any bells?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

He pointed to himself. "First Order Supreme Leader? Besides General Hux is an eager to keep himself in my good graces… He remembers what happens when he disappoints me." He slightly smiled at the memory.

She glared at him.

He looked hurt. "What? I have a reputation to uphold!"

"I know, Ben… you big, bad, Kylo Ren…" she teased. He moved to the couch and sat in a huff.

She sighed. "Ben, I know you…. I feel you… Kylo Ren is not you."

"Well maybe you're wrong," he said quietly.

She walked over to him and hugged him. His head rested on her chest and she kissed the top of his hair. His arms wrapped around her. They held each other for a while – moments on moments.

He looked at the tie of her robe. His fingers curled around one of the ends, pulled, and her robe fell open. She shrugged her robe off her shoulders and it fell to her feet in a whisper. He pulled her closer and kissed her exposed stomach. She moved her hands through his hair, enjoying the fluttering sensation as his lips grazed her skin. He looked up at her with longing and pulled her into his lap. She straddled him as they kissed. She felt his arousal as he moved his left hand up her back under her crop sleep top and the other caressed her bottom. She moved her hand down his chest as she looked for his robe tie. He took a sharp intake of breath while kissing her as she found the tie. The tie was pulled away to reveal his broad chest. Her hands moved up to his shoulders and she pushed his robe down his arms. Rey pulled back and they looked at each other. Her pulse raced and she felt like all her nerves on fire. She could feel his desire… his need…. She put her hands tenderly on his face.

He looked to his right annoyed. He tensed up. _What's wrong? _Rey thought as she dropped her hand from his face to his shoulders.

He made a frustrated sound. He tried to concentrate on Rey again but he looked annoyed again.

"Go away!" he growled. Rey startled and began to pull away. He grabbed her and shook his head.

"Ben…," she whispered.

He placed his finger to his lips to silence her. "General Hux will see me when I am ready to see him!" He could barely restrain his frustration. He placed her to his side and he stood up. He was seething with anger now. He pulled his robe back onto his shoulders and tied it.

He looked longingly back at her then he disappeared.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Rey decided the next morning that enough was enough. She need to do something instead of sitting around waiting for Ben. She dressed quickly and headed to the Falcon. She inspected the undercarriage just so she could focus. To use her hands. Chewie was already working inside in the cockpit. She used a wire brush to scrub a part she was cleaning.

"Are you going to leave any of metal on that?

Rey smiled. She knew that playfully handsome voice anywhere. She turned around to Poe's smiling face, framed with his dark, thick waves. "I know what I am doing here." She pointed to herself. "Ex-scavenger? I think I know what I am doing."

A growl and several grunts came from the cock-pit above them. Poe waved," Hey Chewie! You keeping her in line?" Chewie grunted his approval.

"Yeah, she keeps everyone in line," Poe said, eyes smiling. "So," he rubbed his hands together, "ready to get my hands dirty."

"Great!" Rey said cheerfully. "And there is a scrub brush and a pile of parts ready to be scrubbed," she indicated with a dip of her head to the table next to her. "After that last trip with Leia to Mon Cala, I figured a good cleaning was in order. Just so the Falcon was in top condition."

"Ok," Poe said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. "You're not taking everything apart are you?" He sat down across from her and grabbed a brush and a part.

She stopped scrubbing her part and stared at him.

He cleared his throat. "Good."

"So I heard you and Finn might go on other mission," she asked casually. "Another weapons stash or something?"

"Well, more weapons are a good thing especially with new people arriving every day." He sighed. "But who knows now. Those weird transmissions are making the upper command a little nervous. All hush-hush." He put down the part and brush. "Can't get a word out of anyone."

Rey smiled. He always had to be in the know. "I'm sure when Leia is ready to tell you, you will know."

Rey stood up and heading into the Falcon to give Chewie the several cleaned parts so he could put them back in the system. Poe hurried after her. "So what are your plans? More training… any missions?"

Rey handed Chewie the parts and turned sharply back just as Poe ran right into her. He blushed and apologized. Rey smiled at him as she moved around him back towards the cargo area. He followed her. "Well?" he asked again.

"I'm not sure. I guess more training," she answered as she rummaged through a box. She could feel his eyes on her. She found the tool she was looking for and brushed quietly past him in the corridor and back to the cockpit. Chewie grunted his thanks for the tool as he continued to work.

She found Poe in the same corridor, waiting for her. She studied him. He looked nervous. Poe never gets nervous.

"You good?" he asked him as she heading back down the ramp to the landing gear. Poe followed her.

"Yeah. It's just… you hungry?" Rey stopped and looked at him. Was he asking her to lunch?

He waited nervously for her answer with a smile on his face, trying to look calm and collected with his hands on his hips.

"Sure. Why not? I could eat…"

While they walked toward the mess hall, Poe was chatting about this and that – new ships coming in, BB-8, and other business around the base. It was good to talk about normal every day things and not to have to worry about what Ben was up to. Or should she say the First Order. With her, he was Ben. With the rest of the world, he was Kylo Ren. She looked up to see Poe snapping his fingers at her from across the table.

"You there, Rey? I thought I bored you right off the planet," he laughed.

"Sorry," she shrugged," I got a lot on my mind right now."

"Sure you do," Poe nodded. "With Luke Skywalker gone, that is a lot on your shoulders," he said gently. "Your training is going well, right?" he asked concerned.

"As to be expected. Leia says I am making progress. I have been studying the Jedi texts. But that is time consuming. Sometimes I need to consult C-3PO on translations. It's just time that we may not have."

"Says you who is cleaning every part of the Falcon," he joked and smiled his brilliant smile. Rey heart skipped a beat and she returned his laugh.

"Guilty," she joked as she threw up her hands. It was so easy to talk to Poe. Just as easy to argue with Poe too. No matter what, she always enjoyed their time together. He always had her back.

"Ready to head back to the Falcon? Those parts are not going to clean themselves," she joked as she stood up.

"I would be lying if I wanted to but I got to head out. Training new recruits in combat training today." He stood up and touched her on the shoulder. "See you at dinner with Rose and Finn? You didn't hear about Finn's and my crazy mission to the Moon of Avedot. It is a must hear!" he excitedly said.

"Wouldn't miss it!" she grinned as they parted ways. Rey had so much to do on the Falcon before the day's end.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Dinner's story was very eventful and full of twists and turns. Poe was a natural storyteller. _Of course, most flyboys are._

She thought Finn was going to die of laughter or embarrassment while he helped Poe tell the story. Rose just enjoyed every moment. As dinner ended, the goodbyes were heartfelt and Poe's hug was warm and comforting.

Rey headed back to her quarters, elated and tired. Her door quietly slid shut and she secured the lock. Then, she got ready for bed. The shower was warm and she was glad to wash all the grime and grease off her skin. She sighed as she pulled on her sleep clothes and brushed her clean hair.

She sat down on her couch and pulled one of the Jedi texts into her lap. This one was about the first Jedi temples. Parables of wisdom. Stories of ancient battles.

She suddenly felt him near. _Ben…_

"Sorry I had to leave so abruptly. Hux is an impatient man. I was afraid they were going to enter into my quarters and see you," he paused. "I still don't know how this connection works or what can be seen or not. One thing is for certain… One day I am going to kill that foul man," he growled. "But not today." He sighed as he sat down beside her. Rey closed her book and put it to her side table. She considered Ben's face – he looked so tired and weary.

She could feel waves of worry and frustration radiating off him. She hated when he talked that way, like death was easy to deal out. She looked up to see him studying her. "I'm sorry… I won't talk that way again," he whispered as he placed his hand on her leg. "Come here." He motioned for her to lay against his chest, holding her back to him. She did as he asked and he put his arms around her. He began to nuzzle her hair until he found her ear lobe. He nibbled on her ear then began to kiss her neck. Those kisses sent tingles up and down her spine. He ran his hands across her exposed belly and down her legs giving her goosebumps. A warmth built up inside her. She turned to look at him. He was startled, wondering why she had him stop.

As light is drawn to darkness to either be devoured by it or to enlighten it, Rey felt herself drawn toward Ben. Rey could no longer refuse his feather touch… his smoldering hazel eyes… his full lips…she wanted all of him and give him all of herself. Hungered for him… to devour her in the night. Ben studied her and as if he was reading her thoughts, he passionately pushed his lips to her. She returned his passion.

They began to move across the floor to the bed, lip locking and shedding clothing. Rey's robe drifted to the floor and Ben's robe fell away and disappeared from Rey's view. Ben pulled on the drawstring of Rey's sleep pants and the silk pants slid quietly from her. Pulling away from him briefly, Rey tugged at the bottom of Ben's shirt. He ripped it off the shirt the rest of the way while lunging back into Rey's arms and connecting to her lips again. Rey's legs hit the edge of the bed and they fell backwards, clinging to each other while Ben tried to not to fall onto Rey. They panted and kissed as they moved further onto the bed. Ben paused a moment to watch Rey unbutton her crop top, revealing her perky, full breasts. Rey could feel his pleasure as he started to kiss her stomach, moving toward her chest.

Her hands moved down his back to Ben's sleep shorts and tried to tug them down. He sat up and Rey could see his erection was hard, peeking over the waistband of the shorts and bursting to destroy his shorts. Ben yanked his shorts off and they disappeared from Rey's view as they left his hands. His erection bobbed tall in a bed of thick, black hair. He looked at her, breathing hard. The wave emotions that was coming from him took her breath away. He pulled off her undergarment and threw it behind him. Slowly, he moved over her, kissing her thigh, her stomach and up to her left breast. He took the nipple into his mouth and suckled it before releasing and doing the same to the other breast. The heat in Rey's stomach began to rise and she caught her breath.

He released her breast and he looked into her eyes. He hesitated as if asking her one more time. She could feel his hardness in her folds, pressing and urgent at her entrance… the warmth making her want him more. Trembling, she smiled and pulled him into a kiss and he thrusted forward, entering her. Rey arched her back as Ben moaned into her neck as he began a steady pace. He kissed the side of her neck as Rey began to moan as she kissed his head, running her hand down his back toward his firm ass. He looked into her eyes as she grabbed his ass, urging him faster. He obeyed and their lips collided again in kisses and tongues. A moan escaped her lips as she felt the pressure rise in her. Ben began to move faster as he came closer to climax. Rey made an elated sound that excited Ben so much that he explosively came. Rey felt his release and the spasms that followed and another moan broke free from her lips. Ben rested his head on Rey's chest as he shuttered again.

All they could hear was the heavy breathing from both. Ben rolled off Rey to lay on his side. His hair was damp against his face. He chuckled softly as he looked into her eyes and brushed a stray hair from her face.

She rolled to her side to look at him. "Well….," she sighed.

"Well," he whispered as he kissed her lips again.

Rey could feel the pleasure coming from him too. She took a deep, shaky breath. Ben pulled her to his chest and she rested there against him. Sleep, glorious sleep took them both - satisfied and content.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Rey could sense the light beginning to fill the room. Morning had come and Rey knew that Ben wouldn't be there. She had rolled over toward him during the night and the bed was empty. Had he really been there? Did he really touch her, kiss her, ravage her body? It felt real and tangible. She felt the soreness between her legs and she welcomed it as the thoughts of the evening before washed over her again.

Rey sighed and tried to go back to sleep. She rolled onto her back and closed her eyes. Her breathing slowed and she felt herself drifting off when she felt his presence next to her. He was laying on his side and she could feel his eyes on her. She wanted him to speak or do something but he laid there quietly breathing. She could feel his hunger growing in him and a feeling of warmth.

She could feel him lightly touching her right cheek. It was such a light touch that it almost tickled her. She continued to pretend to be sleep to see what he would do. His touch moved down her neck and to her chest where he lightly circled each of her breasts. She could feel his erection growing as he pressed up against her side. Rey's pulse began to quicken and she tried to keep her breaths even.

He lightly moved the tips of his fingers down to where he flattened his palm on her stomach. His hand lingered there for a moment when she felt his heart beat faster. His breathing quickened and he moved his fingers down between her legs. His fingers plunged in between her folds to graze gently her clit and she jumped. She could feel his breath on her ear as he quietly whispered, "I knew you weren't sleeping…"

Rey giggled and opened to her eyes to look at him. His hand continued to move and a warmth began to spread up her body. His smile was warm and inviting and she kissed him sweetly.

"Morning," she was barely able to say as another pulse of pleasure from his touch raced through her.

"Morning," he said hungrily in his husky voice. He kissed her again.

Another pulse of pleasure hit her as he continued to stroke her clit. "Stop it," she said playfully, "it's so distracting!"

He smiled innocently at her. 'Distracting? I don't know what you mean." He laughed softly. He removed his hand from her folds and wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her closer to him.

Rey hitched her right leg over his legs. His hardness was very noticeable now and pressing up against her stomach. They began kissing softly, treasuring each sensation. Ben bit her lower lip and kissed her neck.

Rey moved her hand from his chest down and grabbed his erection. He jerked slightly at her touch. "Careful," he whispered. She pressed his hardness down into her folds so that he could enter her again. As he slid in, she gasped and sighed again as he began to move slowly.

She touched his face as he ran his hand down her back to her bottom. Rey let out a groan as pleasure slipped through her. She could feel that he was having trouble keeping his pace slow. More kisses, more touches. Every sensation, every pulse of pleasure bringing them closer.

She let out another moan and he began to move faster.

She pulled him closer and kissed him deeply as more moans tried to escape her lips. It sent him over the edge, taking her with him.

Breathing hard, they looked at each other in the eyes. Contentment and pleasure radiated from them both.

Was it her imagination or did she feel a quick flicker of worry and sadness from him? It happened so quick. If it did, it was now gone.

"Now it is _good_ morning," he grinned. She giggled back at him.

He kissed her quickly again. "I have got to go. Do whatever you need to do." As he pulled away from her, he longingly looked at her. He leaned over her. "You're mine now," he whispered in her ear.

A shiver went down her spine and he was gone.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Rey dressed quickly but she couldn't get Ben off her mind. She kept thinking about his touch, his kisses, and his body and she felt her body respond. _Not now._ She sighed.

She hurried toward the Falcon. She still had lots to do and maybe it will get her mind off of Ben. Chewie greeted her with a big hug.

"Hey big guy!" as she hugged him back. "I needed that."

Chewie grunted, concerned.

"No worries," she smiled at him. "Just a lot on my mind."

Chewie nodded his head.

"Let's get working… still lots to do."

She went to her workstation and continued looking at parts as Chewie worked under the Falcon today. As she scrubbed a particularly corroded switch, she heard her name being called.

"Rey!" Rose called. "There you are! I've been looking for you… Leia wanted me to come get you. Meeting at the command center."

Rey wiped her hands on a nearby rag and walked with Rose. "What's this all about anyway?"

"Don't know…maybe we will find out what this hush hush stuff is… or maybe not." Rose said cheerfully. Rose studied her. "Well you look like you're doing better! You got some color back in your cheeks!"

Rey was confused. "Uh, thanks. Yes, I am doing better."

As they entered the command center, Rey surveyed the room of all the attendees. A very small group had gathered. Poe, Finn, Rose and Lieutenant Connix were of course there. Colonel Aftab Ackbar acknowledged her presence with a nod. She had not seen Aftab since her interesting trip to Mon Cala. She nodded back at him. Leia turned to her and smiled as Rey sat down at one of chairs.

Leia cleared her throat. "Thank you all for coming quickly. There has been some information that has come to light recently that I want you to be aware of." She paused as she looked into each face. "We have been receiving broadcasts of unknown origin claiming to be from the late Darth Sidious." People began to move uncertainly and to murmur.

Leia held up a hand. "We wanted confirmation of these details before speaking with you. And we received a confirmation from one of our spy in the First Order."

"Wait," Finn spoke. "First Order spy? Who is it? Can they be trusted?"

"I feel your reservations, Finn but this spy has been delivering us intel that has been confirmed for the past few weeks so we have no reason to believe otherwise that this information is false."

"What did the message say?" asked Rose.

"It called for the destruction of the galaxy. His revenge." Leia heard the room go silent.

Leia looked purposefully at Rey. "Kylo Ren has sent spies of his own to investigate the source of these messages." Rey blushed and looked at the floor. "He has diverted all his resources to finding this "Darth Sidious" and destroy him."

"And is this a good thing or bad thing?" Poe asked. "I mean, if he is working to destroy the source of this message then he is not attacking us. Right?"

"Honestly… I am not sure. But we must remain cautious and continue to gather information. You are dismissed." Leia waved off the group.

Rey and the others began to gather their things and converse as the left the room. Leia looked to Rey and called Rey to her.

Rey stood by Leia as she watched the door close behind Finn as he looked one more time at Rey.

"Rey… you have a link with my son. Have you felt anything since we arrived here?" Leia implored.

Rey tried to push down the blush in her cheeks. _She knows._ Rey shook her head.

Leia searched her face and then nodded. "Let me know if you discover anything. Until then." Leia gave Rey's shoulder a squeeze and turned to exit the command center.

Rey was stunned. _Druk, she knows. _

Rey slowly left the command center only to find Finn waiting for her.

"You okay? What did the general want to talk to you about?" he said softly.

Rey lied. "Just about more training sequences."

"Oh okay. Good." He was relieved.

They started to walk toward the Falcon. "Finn?" Rey hesitated. "I think I better go back to my quarters."

"Okay, but Rose wants to stop by later if that's okay with you. Poe has come up with some crazy idea and … well… Rose will explain." He gave her a big hug. "Catch ya later."

Rey waved to him and she turned down the corridor with her quarters. She entered and leaned against her door. What was she going to do?


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank**** you again for everyone who has been reading my story. I hope you are enjoying it. Please submit any feedback - I would love to hear from you!**

**Chapter 13**

The door sounded. "Come in!" Rey called from her couch. She closed her book and heard Rose enter. She looked up. "What's in the bag?"

Rose looked nervous. "Well, first, hi… and second, this is Poe's idea." Rose handed her the bag.

Rey took the bag and opened it. A black and red dress spilled out. Rey looked at Rose, astonished. "What is this?"

Rose shrugged. "Remember Poe's idea. He wants to do an off-the-books thing to find out more about that spy."

Rey didn't know what to say. "So… I put this on and we go where?"

"Not sure. But you need to hurry. Poe and Finn are waiting in docking area two. I've got to change too... so see you in a bit!" Rose gave Rey's arm a squeeze and ran out the door.

Rey cringed at the dress. It was nice but not anything she was used to. She hurriedly got dressed and decided to keep her hair down. The dress had one shoulder strap and a tight bodice with a skirt long and sheer. The shoulder strap and bodice were black and the skirt faded ombre from black to red to the bottom of the skirt. The fabric flowed as she walked. She looked in the bag and found heeled shoes and a beautiful red stoned necklace. Altogether, she looked stunning.

"Well, here we go…," she said nervously.

She slipped out of her quarters and glided to docking area two where she saw Rose had already joined Poe and Finn and they were talking. The guys were dressed in black jackets – Poe's jacket was short and Finn's was very long – with crisp white shirts, black pants, belts, and boots. Rose had a gorgeous short dark pink dress and heels. As Rey approached them, Poe and Finn stopped talking to Rose.

"Oh, wow Rey…," Finn said as Rose elbowed him. He shot her a "what?" look.

"Well it looks like I picked out a great dress for you, Rey," Poe said proudly. "You look beautiful Rey." Poe smiled broadly.

"You don't look so bad, Finn." Rey smiled. "And Rose, lovely as ever." She looked Poe up and down and shrugged.

"That hurts Rey," he jokingly showed a hurt face.

Rey laughed. "Okay so where are we taking this shuttle?"

"That," said Poe excitedly, "is the fun part. The Outlander Club on Coruscant. We are meeting a smuggler there that give us some leads on this spy in the First Order. Maybe if we are lucky we get a play a few games of sabacc." Finn agreed to that idea.

"No, we stay on task and get out of there before the General finds out where we have gone," Rose stressed. "No games."

The guys looked a bit disappointed. "Okay, but if we have to improvise, we improvise." Poe crossed his arms.

Rey looked at them. "Well let's go."

They entered the shuttle and headed into deep space to Coruscant. The trip through hyperspace was uneventful. Rey fidgeted in her chair. She had never felt this uncomfortable.

"So," Rey said as she broke the long silence. "Where did you find these outfits?"

Poe shrugged. "The outfits are from storage. Finn found them randomly when he was unloading and unpacking boxes from transports. So, that means we need to make sure they get back to where they belong before someone misses it."

"We're about there," Finn interjected.

"Entering atmosphere. Let's land this bird." Poe said as he directed the ship to a landing area near the casino.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

They walked through the entrance, avoiding the people exiting the club. Rey was in awe of the huge central area consisting of a large bar and several gambling tables, surrounded by screens on the walls. The screen showed different sporting events. The floors were gold and white and there were several floors in the club. It was loud and full of life. The customers were dressed in all manner of colors and styles and the dazzle of lights made Rey's head start to swim from too much information.

Poe scanned the room and lead them to a table in the corner. "This table will do well. Gives me a full view of the main level area. Our contact should be here soon."

Finn looked around, disgusted. "Well, at least there are no animal sporting events."

"That you can see," said Poe under his breath.

"What did you say?" yelled Finn over the noise.

"Where is he?!" yelled Poe back. He shook his head. "You want to a drink, Rey?" He pulled Rey toward the bar. He ordered two drinks.

Rey could sense something was wrong. "Poe, is everything all right?"

"I don't know. I've got a bad feeling about this now." He looked around as he sipped his drink. "Doesn't feel right."

"Maybe we should leave," Rey suggested.

Something caught Poe's eye and he stiffened. He cursed under his breath. "First Order troops. Damn it!"

Rey glanced at the entrance. A couple of troops had entered the bar and looked around the floor. "Rey come here," Poe pulled Rey close and put his arm around her. He put his face close to her. "Look at me Rey." She did. Her breathing quickened as her pulse increased. She was ready to battle. Then she felt something strange.

"Did you just smell my hair?" she growled at Poe.

Poe cleared his throat. "Sorry it was there," he apologized.

A commotion happened near one of the gambling tables. Poe and Rey saw the troopers drag off one of the players away from the table and out the door.

"Apparently, he was bad at cheating at sabacc," Poe shrugged. "There he is. Finally!" He turned back to Rey. "Stay here. I will come and get you when I am done talking to him." He rushed off toward the elevator to where a man was standing.

Rey watched as Poe seemed to have a heated argument with the smuggler. Poe glanced over at her and then back at the man. Poe crossed his arms over his chest to think. Reluctantly, Poe motioned for Rey to join him.

"I don't like this one bit," whispered Poe angrily as Rey moved in beside him. Poe sighed. "Rey, this is Wan Alturf. Wan , Rey. There. Introductions."

Wan took Rey's hand. "Pleasure to meet you." Rey snatched her hand back.

"Poe, you naughty boy…," said Wan mischievously, "Zorii would not be so happy of you keeping such fine company."

"Who is Zorii, Poe?" asked Rey quietly.

"No one." Poe poked Wan in the chest. "You said you had intel on this spy. Now spill."

"Okay, okay! Cool it Poe! Feisty in your old age huh?" Poe gave him a sharp look. "All I know is that the spy is on Supreme Leader Kylo Ren's main star destroyer. So they are pretty close to the situation."

Poe waited for more. Wan stared at him. "That's it? Nothing else?" Wan shook his head. Poe made a sound of disgust as he thrust a small bag of credits at Wan's chest. "Get out of here."

Poe took Rey's arm and walked her back to where Finn and Rose were talking quietly. "Let's go," Poe said disappointedly.

"What happened? He didn't have any info?" Finn asked.

"No. And he was being a dick. Let's get out of here quickly before any other troopers come in."

Finn took Rose's hand and lead the way out of the club toward to shuttle. Poe and Rey walked quickly to keep up.

"So this was a waste of time?" asked Rey.

"Not all of it," Poe smirked. "I got to see you in a dress. And that is something!" he teased.

"If you weren't the best pilot in the Resistance, I would toss you off this bridge." Rey growled.

"Promises, promises," Poe whispered to her as he arched his eyebrow. And he went up the ramp into the shuttle. Rey followed him. She hit the switch to retract the ramp.

"So now what?" Rey asked as Poe started to warm up the shuttle engines.

Finn and Rose were already in the passenger area of the shuttle, getting settled.

"Rey, you want to co-pilot?" Poe asked as he gestured to the seat next to him.

"Why not….," Rey said under her breath as she sat down and helped Poe with pre-flight.

Poe looked over at Rey as he watched her finger nimbly move over the controls. He smiled.

"Rey, I appreciate you coming with me tonight. I know you have been training and working on your own things. I miss … I mean, we miss having you on missions."

Rey smiled at him. "I miss it too. Maybe next one. Ready for launch?"

Poe smiled. "Let's get home."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

The trip back to base was quiet. When they landed, they said their goodbyes and Rey headed back to her quarters. She couldn't wait to get out of her dress and shoes. She entered her room and used the Force to lock her door. She was upset at Poe, and anxious that the mission failed to give them any new, real leads. She felt him near before she heard his voice.

"What's wrong?"

She turned toward his voice. "What do you mean?" She was annoyed. He was standing there in his tunic and pants.

He studied her dress and then smiled. "Stunning…" he whispered. "I see you have caught onto my sense of color. Very First Order of you." He smiled mischievously.

She gave him a look. "I didn't put this on for you…" She took off her necklace and put it on her dresser.

He watched her as she kicked off her heels. "Who did you put it on for?" He sounded like he was getting angry.

"This thing I had to go to. Very fancy." She was having a hard time getting the zipper of her dress unzipped. "A little help please," she said as she turned her back to him.

She felt him move behind her. He unzipped her dress and it fell into a pool at her feet. He leaned forward, smelled her hair, and pushed the drape of fine brown hair aside to expose her neck.

He wrapped his arms around her and began to kiss her neck. Rey gasped and put her hands over his hands. He turned her around. She pulled his tunic over his head and threw it down. Their lips met and they kissed deeply as he picked her and carried her to the bed.

He placed her gently on the bed and laid down next to her. He brushed the hair away from her face and looked into her eyes. "You mean everything to me, Rey," he whispered.

She put her arms around his neck and pulled him into another kiss. He pulled her closer as he gently continued to kiss her.

She pulled away and put her head against his firm chest. "Ben…," was all she could say. There was so much more she wanted to tell him. So many feelings that were overwhelming her. She felt like she was going to explode.

He held her close. She realized she was shaking. She could feel his confusion and fear. "Rey?"

She looked up at him. Ben's eyes were full of concern and desire. And tonight felt different. Tonight she felt vulnerable, nervous, exhilarated. All her senses were alive and she felt like the room was vibrating and holding its breath. Could he feel it too? The difference in the air around them? Rey sat up on her knees and looked at him lying there. Rey kept their eyes locked as she reached over and undid the button on his pants. His eyes quickly looking at her fingers then he looked deeply into her eyes again. She pealed the two layers of clothing from him, freeing his erection. He looked vulnerable just like she felt. He was barely breathing.

She straddled his hips and he sat up to up his arms around her. She could feel his erection pulsing between her legs as he began to kiss her deeply. She rose on her knees in order to place his hardness where she wanted it. He plunged deep into her as she rocked back. Their kiss broke as both gasped. She began to rock steadily as they continued to kiss. His hands grabbed her hips for guidance then one hand moved up her back and into her hair. Her moans mixed with the sound of his grunts as their rhythm increased. He broke their kiss as he moved his lips down her neck and he lightly bit at her pulse point. She gasped and he picked her up and placed her on her back. His thrusts quickened and became more determined as he looked into her eyes. The warmth spread quickly all over Rey, her climax approaching. His lips crashed into her and kissed her passionately. She felt his explosive release and it sent her over the edge of ecstasy. Together they laughed quietly, him against her neck and her holding him tightly. She never had felt more loved, more whole. They gazed lovingly into each other's eyes.

"I am yours," she breathed.

He smiled. "I know." And he kissed her.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Rey felt the warmth of him before she opened her eyes. He smiled at her and she quietly yawned, "Good morning."

"Good morning," he said as he kissed her forehead.

"You're still here…," she said sleepily.

"I couldn't sleep," he said as he rolled onto his back and put his right arm behind his head. He looked at her. "I was afraid if I did sleep, this wouldn't be real when I woke up." He sighed.

Rey put her head on his chest again. Her finger moved in the fine hairs on his chest, tracing a circle on his skin. "I know how you feel," she spoke quietly.

His left arm went around her waist. "I know you do. You are the only one who understands."

She could tell they were both afraid of all the emotions they were feeling. She was with the Resistance which he had sworn to destroy. He was the Supreme Leader of the First Order which she was determined to overthrow and bring balance back to galaxy. He had wanted her to take his hand so they could rule the galaxy together. But not like that – not with the fist of cruelty and destruction. She wanted to take his hand, but not with those consequences… those lives lost… planets destroyed.

He shifted under her to put his other arm around her. "Rey, don't think that right now."

"It's hard not to," she whispered. "You could stop. Come home to Leia. Be with me."

"After all that has happened, do you think people would welcome me back with open arms? Forgive and trust me again?" He rolled her onto her back and hovered over her. "No. That will never happen." He pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear.

They laid there looking at each other. She understood. He had done so much to so many people. "I did."

He smiled at her. "Because you know the real me. Not the part I play. With you, I can be different."

His nakedness was causing a distraction and she felt her desire rising in her again. She could tell it was also on his mind about her. He exhaled loudly. "I'd better go…"

Rey pouted. He pulled her into a deep kiss and she wrapped her arms around him.

Her door sounded. Rey looked to the door and back at Ben. She groaned.

"Duty calls," he whispered. One last kiss and he vanished.

Rey flopped her arms back onto the bed and groaned her disapproval. The door sounded again. Rey pulled herself out of bed and drew her robe around her.

"Yes?" she inquired.

'Rey, it's me …Poe."

Rey rolled her eyes. _What now?_

She unlocked the door and Poe pushed his way in past her. The door shut and she turned to him.

'You didn't get your dress and stuff returned yet and I was..," he stopped as he looked at her. He looked at the dress on the floor. Then her bed. Her room was a bit of a mess. The sheets were half on the floor. She checked her robe to make sure it was fully on. The color from his face drained.

"Sorry, "he stammered. "I've interrupted something…" He paused looking hard at her. "Are you hurt?"

"What?" asked Rey, confused.

"The bruise on … your… neck…" He paused. "Okay I am going to go." He started to leave as he now was blushing.

"Wait, Poe. Let me get the dress and things so you can return them." She started gathering the item and placing them back in the bag. He awkwardly waited, running his hand through his hair. She handed him the bag and gave him a shy smile.

He cleared his throat. "Thanks." He began to leave then turned back to her. "Is it someone I know?"

"Goodbye Poe," she smiled as she gently pushed him out the door. She waved to his astonished face as the door closed.

"Great…," she mumbled.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Rey dressed in her white tunic and pants and headed towards the forest to train with her staff. As she crossed a clearing near the living quarters building, she caught sight of Finn. Finn looked startled and then ran toward her. Rey slowed down to stop because of the look on his face. When he reached her, he gently took her by the arm and pulled beside the building.

"Rey," he whispered, "Why did Poe just ask me if I was in your quarters last night?"

"What?" Rey rolled her eyes. "Poe…," she growled.

She started walking toward the forest again. Finn followed her. "Rey, why is Poe asking that? Because I was in my own quarters last night after we got home."

"When I see Poe, he is going to get a piece of my mind!" she said through gritted teeth.

"Whoa Rey! Let's not get too hasty." Finn pulled her to a stop.

Rey's anger faded as she looked at him and sighed. "Because someone was in my quarters last night."

Finn stared at her. "So? Why is that such a big deal to Poe?"

Rey looked at him and she saw a thought finally cross Finn's face. "Ohhhh….," was all he said.

Rey began to walk again.

"Hold up Rey!" Finn called as he caught up to her. "You mean to say that you and …someone were…." Finn's face lit up. "Rey! Can I ask who it is?"

She stomped her foot frustrated. "I really can't talk about it yet Finn. I don't know what to say or how to say it."

"It's okay Rey." Finn placed his hands on her shoulders. "He is just worried about you. He cares for you, you know. I do too."

Rey hugged Finn. She took a deep breath. "I know."

"I am so happy for you. You deserve to be loved. Just like all of us do. Look, when you are ready to talk, I am here for you." He gave her a good squeeze. "Always."

Rey could always count on Finn. "Thank you, Finn."

"Besides, if they ever hurt you, not only would Poe and I be trouble for them, but they will have to look out for you! "Finn said with a twinkle in his eyes.

Rey gave him a sharp look then smiled. "Look as much as I would love to continue the conversation about my love life," she said sarcastically. "I do have to have training so… I'll be off." She began to walk backwards away from him toward the forest.

Finn winked at her. "Got it…. See ya around." He turned and walked back toward the docking area.

Rey turned and quickly walked to the clearing where she liked to use her staff. Several dummies were set up as well as other obstacles.

It felt good to have her staff in her hand. The weight of it was balanced and familiar. She spun it in her hands and set up to make passes against a nearby dummy. As she executed her routine, the motions brought her to be more focused. Her breathing slowed and her mind cleared. She could feel the life all around her. She felt herself reach out further with the Force. She felt peace and tranquility. Then, she felt a strange sensation and she looked down at her staff in her hands. Yet they were not her hands and staff. They were Ben's hands. She was startled and drop her staff and her vision returned to normal. She felt his confusion mixed with hers. Then even that sensation passed.

She felt him as he spoke softly, "What just happened?" He was standing there in his pants and boots with his staff in his hands again. Sweat made his chest and arms shine. He was breathing hard.

'I don't know," was all she could say. Her pulse began to race and her desire rose in her body.

He swallowed hard and dropped his staff. Swiftly, he was in front of her, pulling her into his arms. His lips crushed hers and he picked her up. Her legs easily wrapped around him as she continued to kiss him. She broke away from his lips. "We can't …," she gasped, "not now. I'm outside. Anyone could walk up…"

He panted as he thought. He searched her eyes and put her down. He kissed her and disappeared, leaving her relieved and disappointed.

"Great…" She could feel his frustration. She shared it. She bent down and picked up her staff. She spun it, turned around, and threw it at a dummy, piercing it halfway through the chest.

_Why does it have to be so difficult?_ she thought as she yanked the staff out. Anger rose inside her. _Why does Ben have to be so difficult? And Poe!_

She reached out with the Force and pushed the dummy crashing into a far tree. She was pleased at the sight of the damaged dummy in pieces. Her anger dissipated as she leaned on her staff.

Rey sighed. She decided that she would head back to eat. She needed to think.

Rey walked toward the common building. People were working on unloading supplies from a new transport that had just arrived. More people had arrived to the base in the last week. But it still was not enough. The First Order seemed to have unlimited ships and Stormtroopers. Destroy one and three took its place. Hope was what they had. Hope is what set them apart from the First Order.

What happened earlier made her feel considered. If she could see what Ben was doing, he probably could see what she was doing. This could be a problem. She had to be careful. Mostly of what she had been doing is training but sometimes she attended meetings with Leia and the Resistance Command. She needed to build a wall in her mind during those times.

"Rey!" she heard a voice in the distance call her, breaking her out of her train of thought. She paused to look around to see who the voice was. That's when she saw him wave as he hurried toward her – it was Poe.

She rolled her eyes and continued into the mess hall, grabbing some rations. She saw him heading through the crowd of people and boxes and she headed to her quarters.

"Hey! Wait up Rey!" Poe called to her.

She could hear him running now. Rey stopped and turned to face him.

"Hey there!" Poe panted as he tried to catch his breath. "Glad I caught you." He waited for her to speak but Rey only crossed her arms across her chest. "Okay. So I see you are mad at me," he said quickly. "And yes, I should have not said anything to Finn." Poe ran his hand through his hair. He looked at her in the eyes. "I was just worried. If it wasn't Finn, I was hoping Finn would know."

He cautiously put his hands on her shoulders. "Forgive me?"

Rey rolled her eyes, relaxed, and playfully punched him in the chest. "Maybe…"

He pulled her into a hug. Rey melted into his arms.

"Whew!" he said breathily. "I thought I had really pissed you off."

"Ask the training dummy in the clearing," Rey joked.

He released his hug on her. "Ouch… just taking a guess that a new training dummy is needed?" Poe cringed jokingly.

"Obliterated."

"Thought so," he said firmly as he nodded his head. "We good?"

"Yes," she smiled.

He smiled. "Catch you later then?"

"If you're lucky," Rey teased. And with one last look, Poe headed back toward the shuttle.

Rey entered her quarters shortly afterwards. She sat down on her couch and took off her boots. She ran her toes over the carpet, enjoying the feel under her feet. She sighed and took down her hair. She was glad to make peace with Poe. _Now if I could figure out this thing with Ben._

She decided to change out of her training clothes into more comfortable ones. She pulled off her pants, unhooked her tunic, and headed to her dresser. She could sense him before she saw him in the mirror. He looked lost. Their eyes met as she turned toward him. He was still in his pants and boots. She could feel the desire in herself and him rising to a breaking point. Within a few steps, he was there, picking her up and putting her on the dresser. His lips crushed hers. His hand touched her sides and moved up her back under her tunic. They became lost in each other. She felt him fumble with the front of his pants. She gasped in pleasure as she felt him slide home. She pulled him closer and felt his pace quicken. In their excitement, the ecstasy came quickly. They panted as they gazed into each other's eyes. "Don't do that to me again," he said softly and he kissed her.

"Do what?" she asked surprised at his response.

"Make me wait," he growled playfully as he nibbled on her ear.

She pushed on his chest. "It's hard for me too."

He stepped back and fastened his pants. He helped her off the dresser. Rey grabbed some fresh clothes and put them on.

He crossed his arms over his bare chest as he watched her. She looked at him as she finished fastening her full legged pants. "Enjoying the show?"

"Very much," he nodded wistfully. He huffed. "I've business to do." He smiled and vanished.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

The days passed quickly as Ben and Rey found moments to be with each other. Each time their link seemed to grow stronger. On the times they weren't together, she would catch glimpses of things he was doing – studying the Imperial archives, speaking with General Hux, training. She knew he was seeing parts of her life – training, reading the Jedi texts, working on the Falcon with Chewie.

She knew her heart was with him. But how could this last? He insisted that he had no choice but stay as Supreme Leader. She knew she could not join him in the First Order. They were deadlocked. She could feel his fear and frustration growing. He had started to become distracted during their times together, sometimes leaving abruptly. She knew she shouldn't worry about it, but she could feel a danger rising. Not from him. Her dreams had returned. Flashes of light, laughter, and the feeling of beckoning. She needed to be ready for what was coming. Ben had become a distraction for her - a pleasurable distraction but a distraction none the less.

Leia was beginning to sense her distracted mind and began to send her to meditate more, trying to feel the Force of the Jedi that came before her. "Be with me," she chanted over and over to no avail. No Master Luke. No other Jedi made themselves known to her. This left her angry and frustrated. She began to feel unworthy of the name Jedi. Leia always encouraged her. "Rey, it takes time… everything you need is inside of you."

Ben could feel her distracted mind. "Training is not going well?" he quietly asked one evening as he held her in his arms.

She sighed. "I don't want to talk about it."

Ben nodded his head. "I saw my mother the other day through you." He sounded sad. "She looks so tired."

Rey spoke sadly. "It has been hard for her - losing a son, a husband, a brother, old friends. The attack on the _Raddus_ when the command bridge was destroyed did not help her."

"I couldn't stop it," he said quietly. Rey gave a questioning look. "I felt her on the bridge and I couldn't fire on it. One of the tie fighters with me fired. I couldn't stop it." He shifted uneasily.

_There it is. The light in him._

He looked at her and sat up. "I've got things to do." With one last look, he was gone.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

After that evening, Rey couldn't connect with Ben. He was blocking their link. She wondered what he was doing.

She had talked with Rose to see if any new attacks had occurred on incoming resistance support.

"Nothing unusual in the reports. Typical First Order movement." Rose lowered her voice in the mess hall where they were eating. "However, Kylo Ren's star destroyer has been off the radar. No sightings. Command is worried about what that could mean."

So, Ben was up to something. And he didn't want her to know what he was doing.

Rey decided to keep herself busy. She trained, meditated, absorbed information from the Jedi texts, and tried to finish repairing the Falcon. She had a new sense of determination.

Leia added more tasks for Rey. Rey welcomed it. The tasks challenged her and she could feel her connection to the Force growing.

BB-8 started accompanying her in her runs through the woods. She and Finn worked to translate some of the Jedi texts. They would spend long hours in the mess hall with C-3PO discussing different phrases of wisdom or histories. Other times, Finn, Rose, and Rey would talk about different news coming from the outer rim and other parts of the galaxy.

Poe helped her and Chewie with the Falcon. He made Rey laugh with his stories and jokes as they worked. His warm, inviting smile drew her in and made her time more enjoyable. Leia had checked on them one afternoon, inquiring on the status of the Falcon.

"Can it fly?" Leia had asked.

Rey and Poe chimed in that it was good and mission ready. Chewie grunted in agreement.

"Good," Leia nodded. "Poe, we have a mission coming up. I need you to get a team together that you trust. Small. I want Chewbacca to go with you." Chewie roared in excitement. Leia smiled. "This information from the spy is supposed to be vital."

Rey became excited at the thought of a mission. It had been a while since her last one. Leia looked at her. "I am sorry, Rey. It is important that you continue your training here."

Poe stood up. "General, I could use her help out there. She is resourceful and skilled. Leaving her here is a mistake." The tone of his voice was firm.

"Denied, Poe." Leia looked sharply at Poe. "There will be other missions. Her mission right now is to train." Leia suddenly looked very tired. She said her goodbyes and headed toward to command center.

Poe looked as disappointed and Rey felt. "Thanks for trying, Poe."

He patted her on the shoulder. "Next time. I promise."

They wrapped up what they were working on and said good night to each other. Rey headed to her quarters. She had a feeling it was going to be a lonely night again filled with bad dreams.


	20. Chapter 20

**My story is almost to completion. Only a few more chapters to go. One of the challenges I gave myself was to try to lead my story into the beginning of The Rise of Skywalker. I****n the previous chapters, ****I had to establish the intimate relationship of Ben Solo and Rey (which they fully deserved) through the Force, and then I had to break it apart again while still maintaining the hope in each other that the other will join them. I hope I have accomplished this. Enjoy! And as always, your feedback is truly appreciated!**

**Chapter 20**

Rey awoke in the middle of the night. The lights were dim in her room and she got up to get some water. Her throat was dry. The warm evening air did not help. Her temperature control in her room must need adjustment. She walked to her table, poured a drink, and went to the controls. Yes, a bit of adjustment. She turned and he was standing there. He was in his black silken robe, glaring at her. She dropped her cup in surprise.

"Ben," she whispered. She wanted to rush to him, kiss him, hold him, but she hesitated.

"Yes?" he said annoyed.

"I've been trying to see you for days." She moved toward him and he put up a hand.

"And I have been busy," he said curtly. She stopped. "And now you know how it feels," he growled.

She didn't know what to say.

"Well I am here now." _He is in a foul mood, _thought Rey_. _He sat down on the couch with his arms resting on his legs. His head was down, hair covering his face.

"Ben," she said quietly, "I missed you…" He lifted his head to look at her. His face was blank with no emotions.

"And?" he said annoyed.

_That was it!_ "Look here! Just because you are in a foul mood doesn't mean you talk to me that way!" she said through gritted teeth. He quickly stood up and closed the gap between them, grabbing her wrists. Fire burned in his eyes. _ Oh no… too far…_ Rey began to panic.

He looked into her eyes. He picked up her tiny form by her waist with one arm and under her bottom with his free hand and kissed her. Her legs easily hooked around his waist as he held her close to his body as she kissed him back. His kiss was rough, eager, filled with desire. Warmth and longing filled Rey as she returned his kiss. His tongue bid entry into her mouth and she welcomed it. His kisses became more frantic so when he stopped kissing her mouth she gasped for air. A moan escaped her mouth and his manhood grew in excitement.

He walked her to the bed and laid her roughly on it. He looked at her panting form as he climbed on the bed to hover over her. "Is this what you want, Rey?" he growled as he kissed her neck and moved his rough hand up her thigh.

_Yes… no…I don't know!_ she thought as she arched her back under his touch. Her mind raced.

"Oh, Ben…. Stop!" she groaned, pushing him away. Her mouth was dry again. She was breathing hard.

He looked at her with an inquisitive eyebrow. He was breathing hard too. He rolled to his side. "Too much?" _There is that grin…_

Rey hit him. "Not fair! Why did you do that?"

He chuckled then went to a straight face. "Because you are also dealing with Kylo Ren, Rey. Don't forget that."

"Get away," Rey said under her breath as she got up. "You don't have to be that way, Ben."

He got up and went to the couch again, sitting with a hard sigh. "Rey? What do you want from me?"

"Just to be you!" she pleaded. "I want you, Ben. Not Kylo Ren. That is not who you are."

"What if you are wrong, Rey? I am set to become the most powerful man in the galaxy." He stood up and move toward her. "Maybe the best way to help your cause is to join me. There, you would have some kind of sway on me. You could be my Queen."

"Ben, you know that is not how this ends," she said quietly.

Ben reached out and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "We have seen two different visions Rey. Maybe they are one and the same. Or maybe not." He picked her up, cradling her in his arms. "But let's not talk of this now. I have come to be with you." He looked sadly at her. "I fear things are going to change very soon." He placed her gently on the bed and he laid down next to her. He looked at her as if memorizing her face. A sadness pulled at her. He kissed her gently as he unbuttoned her sleep shirt. He ran his hand down her neck, across her chest, and down her stomach. A fluttering feeling filled her stomach and tingles ran down her spine. She reached her hand up to cradle his face. "Ben… I need to tell you something… I…"

He kissed her. "Rey… no words…" And he kissed her more deeply. He pulled her sleep shirt off and moved his hand to her sleep pants, which he pulled away effortlessly. Rey pushed his robe off his strong shoulders and down his tone arms. She wanted to memorize every part of him too. She put her hands on his firm stomach and up to his broad chest. He pulled her close into another kiss. Her hands moved into his hair as she wrapped her leg over his hip. His rough hands moved over her soft skin as he caressed her bottom and back. He rolled gently on top of her as he kissed her neck and face.

He broke their kiss as he gazed into her eyes. He plunged into her and she felt herself gasp. He moved slowly as he continued to kiss and touch her. Pleasure rolled through her and she could sense so much from him. He could no longer contain himself. His pace quickened and she gratifyingly moaned in his ear. She felt like her world was exploding. He shuttered in her and his groans sent her to ecstasy again.

He rolled to his side and pulled her tightly into his arms and she felt sadness and love from him. She rested her head on his chest. _Why does it feel like good-bye? _Rey thought.

Ben kissed the top of her head. He pulled away from her so he could look into her eyes. "Rey, just know you are not alone. I am here. But this is the last time I may see you."

There was so much going through her head. She was trying to understand what was happening. "Ben?"

"The next time I see you, I will truly be there in the flesh. And I hope you will take my hand and be by my side." He kissed her.

"And if I don't?" she whispered.

His gaze hardened. "Then we will be enemies. I will crush the Resistance and you along with it."

She searched for unspoken words in his eyes only to see he was determined to win one way or another.

"Until we meet again, Rey." Ben kissed her long and passionately. She tried to say everything she could through her mind – all the feelings of hopelessness, love, longing, and fear that she felt. He stood up and looked down at her one more time only to disappear.

Rey pulled her legs up to her chest and cried. Through her pain, she could sense Ben – he was feeling ashamed, miserable, afraid, and full of pain.

_Why would he say those things? _A new wave of pain flowed through her. She didn't how long she stayed that way. Waves rolled over her over and over. She gasped. Was it her pain or his? She could not tell them apart anymore. Anger and fear. Love and loneliness. And shame. Him for leaving her that way. Her for being a fool to love him.

Her door sounded. She didn't want to deal with whoever was there. A banging at the door. Someone calling her name. Another wave flowed through her.

She heard the door unlock and open. Someone rushed in. "Oh Gods, Rey!" she heard someone gasp.

She felt someone wrap her in a sheet. Her world was blurred in tears. She was picked up and taken out of her room. She could feel them moving quickly down the hallway. Another wave crashed into her.

"Hang on, Rey!" she heard someone whisper. She clung to the edge of the jacket of the person holding her. Agony and anger… she could feel Ben's pain as her own pain.

Someone held her tighter as they ran through the complex of buildings. Reassuring words were said to her, but she couldn't understand it.

A new voice. New hands grabbing onto her and holding her tightly. "Rey, we are almost there,"  
a warm, calming voice told her.

"Finn?" she whispered.

"Yes, I have you, Rey." His voice sounded frightened.

"Where are you taking me?" Rey felt her mind clearing.

"To the General." Rey heard another voice say.

"Poe?"

"Leia sent me to your quarters," Poe panted. "She said you were in trouble."

A door opened before them. She felt herself being placed gently on a couch. She looked up at Finn. Poe brought over a blanket and gently wrapped her. He pushed her hair out of her face. Finn brought her a cup of water. She took it and drank deeply. She looked gratefully at them both then looked past them and saw Leia's face. Relief washed over Rey.

"All right gentlemen. She will be safe with me," Leia said assuredly. Poe and Finn looked at each other.

"Rey, we'll check on you later." Finn patted her hand. Poe smiled warmly at her.

Rey watched as they left Leia's quarters. Leia sat next to her on the couch. She took the cup from Rey's hand, placed in on an end table, and took her hands. Rey felt a reassuring feeling enter her and a growing calm and tranquility eased her pain and sadness.

"Rey, you need to clear your mind," Leia said calmly. Rey closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Ben became a distant thought, a far away feeling. Rey's shaking started to subside. "Better?"

Rey nodded. Leia smiled. "So my son…" Rey face paled. "He must care for you," Leia said soothingly. "Now, is there anything you would like to tell me?"

Rey blushed. _Not about a lot of things._ "I think he is doing something rash, something dangerous," Rey whispered.

Leia nodded. "I suspected something like that. Otherwise he would not feel like he is feeling now."

Leia sighed. "Let me get you some clothes and you can rest." She got up and heading to her wardrobe. She pulled out a nightgown. 'Sorry this is all I have to offer." Rey took it gratefully. "There is an empty chamber next door you can use. I would like to keep you close to me in case something happens again."

Rey nodded. Leia looked toward the door and sighed. She turned back to Rey. "Apparently our two gentlemen are in the corridor waiting still to see you. I will speak with them outside while you change." Leia smiled at her and exited. Rey could see Poe looking past her to look at her as the door closed.

The link had broken finally. The distant feeling of Ben had gone. It felt very lonely. Rey knew they had been foolish. They had played a dangerous game. But she wouldn't trade her time with him… the feel of him… the smell of him. But had it truly been real at all? Or was it something that happened in their mind?

They had had a connection. He was lost and lonely just like her. Looking for someone to understand him. She understood how he felt. She had people to care about her – Finn, Poe, Rose, Leia – but did they truly understand her? Ben seemed to understand her more than sometimes she did. She felt she knew Ben better than himself too.

Rey dropped the blanket and sheet on the couch and pulled the nightgown over her head. The soft fabric felt cool on her skin. She wrapped the blanket around herself. The door opened and Leia, Poe and Finn poured into the room.

"See," Leia reassured the men, "She is better. But I would like her to stay close tonight so she will be next door."

Poe looked at Rey and blushed a little. He cleared his throat and spoke to Leia. "I would like to stand guard outside just to make sure all is good."

Leia studied him. "I guess that would be fine. You would do it anyways even if I did say no." She looked to Finn. "Finn, please make sure Rey's quarters are secured. And I know you will be joining Poe too." Leia shook her head and looked at Rey. "Your escort awaits. I will see you first thing in the morning. We will need to get an early start." Leia patted her on the arm. "Good night. You need not worry."

"Good night," Rey smiled at Leia. She looked to Poe and Finn. "After you." Poe and Finn lead the way.

Finn turned to Rey. "You had us scared, Rey. I am glad you are better. We'll both be out here if you need us." Rey gave him a quick, heartfelt hug. Finn looked at Poe. "I'll be right back." Finn headed towards Rey's quarters.

Rey looked at Poe as she moved to the door of the guest quarters. "Thank you, Poe, for coming to get me." Poe blushed again and ran his hand through his hair. Rey could feel the heat in her cheeks too. She knew what he had seen – her writhing in pain and misery, naked on her bed. Rey smiled softly at him as she touched his forearm. "Good night, Poe." And she entered the guest room to go to sleep. She heard him murmur, "Night Rey," as the door closed. Rey looked around the small room. The bed was tucked in the corner, trying to look inviting. She didn't want inviting. She saw a large chair. _That will do._ She curled up in the chair and tried to keep her thoughts from Ben. Sleep came for her and left her empty.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Leia woke Rey as she had promised. She had brought Rey some training clothes, which Rey quickly put on. As they left her temporary quarters, Rey greeted warmly a sleepy Finn and Poe. She followed Leia to the training area.

"For the first few days, we will meditate together. Remember your chant?" Leia asked as she sat down on the ground.

"Yes, Master Leia. 'Be with me.'" Rey said as she sat on the ground across from Leia.

Leia nodded. "Then begin."

Rey's days passed quickly as she began a strict routine of training. Leia watched Rey closely as she trained. Rey's mornings consisted of meditating and running an obstacle course that Leia had expanded. In her afternoons, she poured over the Jedi texts trying to remember what she had seen Ben looking for in the Imperial archives. She just couldn't remember and she didn't dare try to connect with him directly. She didn't want to lose herself again. The day before, she had felt him briefly touching her mind, like a brush of her cheek with his fingers to put a lock of hair behind her ear. A small part of her longed to feel him, but she knew that she had something to do.

She had told Leia about her nightmares. Leia had looked concerned at first but then she had reassured Rey that all would be well. But Rey was not sure. She had her doubts about her abilities. She felt underserving of the name of Jedi. But she kept training, trying to make herself worthy.

She ate as she watched Poe, Finn, Chewbacca, and a small crew working on the Falcon. She had a book in her lap. Klaud, a Trodatome mechanic, was moving up the ramp of the Falcon to work on the systems inside. They would be heading out today for a parts pickup in the Sinta Glacier Colony.

The morning light was filtering through the trees onto the landing area. Poe walked toward her. She closed her book and smiled at him. "Morning, Poe."

He smiled warmly at her as he put hands on his hips. "Wish you were coming with us. It should be a simple mission. We should be back before you know it." He looked back at the activity by the Falcon. He looked awkward when he turned back to her. "Look, about the other night…"

Rey held up her hand. "Poe, it's okay. Your intentions were honorable. We don't need to talk about it anymore."

Poe ran a hand through his hair. He nodded. "Okay then…. Well I better get back to finishing what I was doing." He gestured toward the Falcon.

He began walking away. "Oh, and Poe? Don't forget to bring the Falcon back in one piece." She paused. "And yourself too," Rey said as she headed to Finn and Chewbacca.

Poe chuckled. "Got it." And he walked back with her.

"Finn, you take care of yourself," Rey said as she hugged him.

"You got it," Finn smiled at her. "Almost ready, Chewie?" Chewie roared and grunted an acknowledgement.

"Who are we meeting again, Poe?" Finn asked as he started packing away tools into a box.

"An Ovissian named Boolio," Poe answered as he wiped his hand on a rag. "Good thing too. We could use the parts he is donating." He looked at Rey. "Wish us luck?"

"Good luck and may the Force be with you," she smiled wistfully at them. "And you better take care of the Falcon."

"You better take care of BB-8," Poe said as he nodded at the droid next to Rey. "See you when I get back pal," he said as he gave BB-8 a pat. BB-8 whistled and chirped at him. Poe smiled at him. "You got it."

Rey and BB-8 watched them as they entered the Falcon and the ground crew cleared the area. She watched the Falcon ascend to fly off into the void.

"Come on, BB-8. Time for training." Rey and BB-8 heading for the training area. Rey's thoughts were on Poe and Finn's mission, wishing she could be there. But now she had work to do.


	22. Chapter 22

**Thank**** you all for taking this journey with me. I hope you enjoyed the story. ****Now**** I must tell you if you have not seen ****The**** Rise of Skywalker (aka Episode IX), you may want to wait to read this chapter until you have seen it. It has major spoilers from the movie. Also I still would love to hear your feedback!**

**Chapter 22**

Rey sat up in the darkness of her quarters. She had dreamt of him again. She touched her face and noticed that it was wet with tears. The light from the morning sun was just beginning to peek through the blinds on the window.

It had been a happy dream – he was here with her, laughing and loving her again. His smile, his warm touch, his kisses – it had felt so real. "Oh Ben…," she whispered.

She heard movement from across the room. A little head full of black wavy hair and hazel eyes peeked over the side of her bed. She smiled and lifted the little boy up into her arms.

"Mommy, are you crying about Daddy again?"

"Only happy tears, Ben." Rey kissed him on the forehead as she pulled him close. "I just miss him so."

How long had it been since Ben Solo died in her arms and joined with the Force? Almost seven years? He had brought her back from the void. As she looked into his beautiful eyes, she was overwhelmed with happiness. She kissed him and realized it was the first time they had truly kissed. He was there with her. She felt his love and his joy. And he smiled. He knew. He knew the secret she had been holding dear. He knew he had saved their child too. That was when he collapsed in her arms.

So long ago but still so fresh in her mind. Young Ben looked into her face, studying her.

"Don't you need to get ready for the day? Your Uncle Poe should be coming to visit!" Even in the darkness, she could see the sparkle in his eyes.

"Do you think he will let me fly his x-wing?" Ben said excitedly.

"I don't know…," she teased. "But you can ask… and no mind tricks on Uncle Poe." She tickled him and he squealed in her arms.

Ben hopped down off the bed and twisted his hand. The lights in the room responded. Rey watched him tear through his dresser drawer and grab some clothes. She smiled. There was so much about Young Ben that reminded her of Ben Solo. His smile and his eyes. That scruffy hair of his.

She got out of bed and went to her dresser. She hesitated as she opened one of the top drawers. It was nearly empty except for a black tunic and pants. She pulled the tunic out and ran her hands over it. She pulled it to her face and smelled the fabric. It still smelled like him. On the day she lost him, she had carefully folded Ben's clothes after he had faded into the Force. She couldn't leave it there. She placed it carefully back in the drawer and pulled open another drawer to get her tunic and pants out for the day. Another day of training at the Jedi Temple was at hand.

Ben ran past her and out the door as she was adjusting her belt. She heard a familiar voice call out to Ben.

"Watch it Ben! Uncle Poe isn't here yet!" Finn yelled as he laughed.

"Sorry, Uncle Finn!" Ben yelled behind him as he continued running. "I want to be first in line!"

Finn knocked at Rey's open door. "You can come in…," she said as she greeted him with a hug.

"You okay?" Finn asked concerned.

"Yeah, just dreamed of Ben again." She sighed as she attached her lightsaber to her belt.

Finn looked at her softly. "Look, I didn't know him like you did but I know he is watching over you two. I feel it."

"I know," she smiled sadly. "Well, there is no changing the past." Her face brightened up. "Time to go wait for Poe's arrival." Rey took his hand as they exited her quarters.

The jungles just beyond the Jedi Temple on Yavin IV were dense and full of life. The sounds and bird calls and animals filled the air along with the smells of rich, moist earth and tropical trees and flowers. The docking area was off set from the temple, giving ample space for ships to come and go. Master Luke had cleaned the temple out a long time ago when he trained Leia and a few others when he first began teaching. Those few students had gone with him to help train Ben and a dozen students at another Jedi Temple. But they had perished in the fire on that dreadful day.

Rey choose to begin the same way – small. She took Finn as her student after he confessed that he was Force sensitive. Finn had known that she had died and had been brought back to life. Now Finn helps with the training of new students like Ben, other children, and young adults that have come here to learn the ways of the Force and the balance in-between.

Rose was waiting for them at the docking area with a very excited group of children. She smiled as they approached and hugged Rey. Rose's swollen belly made it hard. Finn took Rose's hand and pulled her close to him. With a deep kiss, he placed his hand Rose's belly. "She's happy and can't wait to meet you," he said gently to her. Rose beamed at Finn.

_Happiness like that is sometimes short lived but sometimes it lasts a lifetime. _Rey thought.

The sound of an engine made every one look up. Poe's x-wing descended from the sky onto the landing platform. A cheer rang out from the children as Poe's canopy opened and he began climbing out.

"Whoa, whoa! Hello!" Poe yelled to the children over the noise. He glanced at Ben waiting at the front of the small crowd. "Hey, BB-8 you better lock down the control panel and turn off the engines before Ben gets up here. Last time he almost took off," Poe smiled as BB-8 chirped a knowing response. Last time Ben was in the process of lifting off and closing the canopy when Poe had jumped back onto the x-wing and turned off the engine. The x-wing had unceremonially fell hard against the landing pad almost knocking Poe off the x-wing. "You got to admire that kid's drive!" Poe said as he took off his helmet and put in his seat. BB-8 whistled worriedly.

Rey saw Poe look for her and he smiled when he saw her. Same old Poe except for that small streak of grey in the front of his dark wavy hair. It looked good on him. He was now one of the top generals of the New Republic.

Poe climbed down and scuffed the hair on Ben's head. "Hey ya champ!"

"Can I go flying with you later?" Ben pleaded.

"Of course you can!" Poe pointed a finger at Ben to make a point. "Later though." Ben's grin shined like the sun as Poe continued to move through the crowd of children to where Rey, Finn and Rose stood.

Poe hugged Finn and patted him on the back. Finn returned the hardy greeting. "Been too long, man!" Finn said excitedly.

"I see that!" Poe said as he turned to Rose. "When did that happen?" Poe laughed and pulled Rose into a big hug. "I can't wait to see this little one!" Rose laughed as she took Finn's hand. Rey noticed that the children had started climbing onto the x-wing and BB-8 was complaining noisily. Poe, Rose, and Finn looked at the children. "Poor BB-8… I guess we better save him," sighed a smiling Rey.

Rose and Finn gave each other a look at seeing Rey and Poe standing there together quietly. "Hey, Rose, help me get these kids into morning lessons today. Let's leave these two alone."

The sounds of the children moving into the temple faded behind Rey and Poe as they walked to the mediation garden. "It's good to see you Rey. Motherhood and being a Jedi Master looks good on you." Poe smiled warmly at her.

"And responsibility looks good on you," she replied softly. "Is the Senate treating you well?"

"As to be expected. I don't know how Leia ever did it. Bickering, scheming politicians. Don't get me wrong! There are a lot of good people trying to make things better for the New Republic but damn it is so frustrating at times."

Rey laughed softly with him. Poe stopped and ran his fingers through his hair.

Poe face turned serious again. "Rey, the offer still stands. You know how I feel."

Rey glanced down to the grass at her feet. She was lost in thought.

Poe took her hand and pulled her over to a bench for them to sit.

"Poe, you know how I feel.," Rey looked deeply into his eyes. "I care for you deeply, but it is not that simple."

Poe nodded. "I get it. What you and Ben Solo had was more deep and connected than anything I think anyone has ever had in their life. And I know you still love him so much and you want to keep that feeling alive for you and Young Ben." A single tear fell down Rey's cheek.

"Poe, you have to move on. Find someone else," Rey said softly.

"Well," Poe chuckled," come to mention it. There was that one Senator from Naboo that was a looker…"

Rey elbowed him in the side. He laughed.

"Seriously Rey," Poe took both her hands in his. "If I have to be Uncle Poe for the rest of my life, I will. But I will always be there for you." Rey smiled gratefully at him.

"Look what you have built here, Rey!" He swept his hand in an arch around the garden. "You, Finn, and Rose have built a home for these young Jedi. A safe place from them to learn and grow and know their full potential. I am so proud of you and I know Leia, Luke, and Ben Solo would be too."

They heard a rustle at the entrance of the garden. Young Ben walked over to them.

"Mommy," Ben put his tiny hand on Rey's shoulder. Ben whispered in Rey's ear. "Guess what?"

"What, sweetie?" Rey smiled.

"Uncle Poe is right. I see Daddy watching me and you. He waves at me." Ben looked at her. Rey hugged him.

Rey looked at Poe and smiled. Poe was there for her. He, Finn, and Rose had listened as Rey told her story about Ben, about the child she was carrying, about her dream of reopening the temple. They were there when little Ben was born. Poe held her as she cried about the love she had lost. He had been so patient and kind.

Little Ben squirmed in her arms and pulled away from her. "So…. Can I go on that ride now, Uncle Poe?" Ben asked hopefully.

Poe looked at Rey and back to Ben. "Shouldn't you be in your studies now, Buddy?"

Ben whispered to Poe. "I sneaked out!"

Poe and Ben looked at Rey.

Rey looked stern and then laughed. "Okay this time," Poe and Ben got very excited. They hurried from the garden with Rey following quickly behind them.

"Can I drive? I'm a great pilot just like my dad!" Ben said gleefully as Poe helped him into the cockpit.

"That is what scares me Buddy!" Poe laughed. "Alright BB-8 fire up the controls!"

"One day I am going to fly Mommy's ship, The Falcon! Hey Chewie!" Ben yelled as the canopy started closing and Poe was trying to get Ben buckled in.

Chewie eagerly waved and greeted Ben happily.

Ben was smiling so hard he could barely contain himself as Poe lifted the x-wing off the ground.

So was Rey. His father would have loved him so much.

Out of the corner of her eye, Ben Solo appeared, transparent and smiling. Rey walked to the gardens again with him.

"He loves flying so much." Rey smiled at Ben. "He is so much like you in so many ways."

"Flying…It's in his blood you know. But he is so much like you." He smiled sadly at her. "I love you, Rey. I always will. The time we spent together meant more to me than you will ever know. It saved my soul. That time together created our beautiful, happy son. But you need to move forward, Rey. You must."

"I am. But it still hurts. I try to reach out in the universe to find you and you are not there anymore. I used to be able to rely on that." Tears began to fall down her face. "Depend on that. I am just not ready to let that go yet." She wiped the tears from her face.

"One day in the distant future I will join you in the Force. That is what I want," she said firmly. "Until then, I have a lot of students to teach and I need to love our amazing son."

He nodded. "Meanwhile, don't forget the people that love and care about you now." He spoke lovingly. "Promise me that."

Rey nodded as he faded. "I will." A loud sound roared over her and as she looked up, she knew her future was there in that lone ship. And that Ben was flying an x-wing.


End file.
